Have you ever found yourself so attracted to a girl that you desired her, regardless of what she said or did?
So blinded by desire that you carefully weighed up every move, every word, every message that you gave off, in fear of offending her or losing her.
And as a result of your extreme carefulness…you actually lost her, or – even worse – you were banished to the friend zone.
Today I want to talk about a topic that can be extremely useful in avoiding to commit these precise errors, that may have been caused by your fear of losing her or because of extreme timidness: in fact I’ll explain how to touch a girl.
Physical contact is one of our most primal methods of communication…and, just because of this, it is the most immediate and simple to comprehend.
Our modern age, governed by social networks characterized by continuous interactions conducted behind a monitor, have made the possibility of touching a girl you’re interacting with a rare occasion. Consequentially, when this occasion presents itself one is often embarrassed and thinks touching a girl seems difficult, when in reality it’s the easiest and most spontaneous thing in the world.
Don’t tell me that in that situation….when she was looking at you straight in the eyes, running her fingers through her hair and laughing at your jokes….that an insurmountable desire to touch didn’t cross your mind. 😉
Why Touching a Girl is Important
From a psychological-evolutionary point of view, physical contact has always been an expression of ownership.
A mother hugs her baby to protect and declare that it belongs to her, just like when a girl places her hand on her man’s chest to state her “possession”. It could almost be seen as a way to “mark one’s territory”.
At the same time though, the capacity of touching people that surround us expresses our will to generate a connection with them: it means focusing all your attention towards a certain person, because you’re not only talking and looking at them, but you’re also touching them, employing all your senses in an all-encompassing action.
My advice for you is: touch the people you talk with. It doesn’t matter if they’re girls, your friends, the cashier at the supermarket or that angry neighbor of yours.
Seek physical contact, and your relationships will improve.
You could feel that not knowing how to touch a girl makes you feel uneasy when doing so…but my advice is to try all the same, you will notice an astonishing amount of positive and enthusiastic reactions. Psychological studies demonstrate that casual physical contact during a conversation has the power of branding the memory of people you interact with.
If you’re a confident man, socially active and an extrovert, full of the joy of living, touching people will come natural to you and you’ll be able to make your positivity contagious.
Furthermore, touching girls you interact with spontaneously and not in a sexual manner plays an important role in preselection: other women, seeing how you interact, not only will consider your behavior as acceptable, but they will also want to be touched by you, to obtain your approval.
Knowing how to touch girls allows you to establish a connection with them, making them feel relaxed and at ease.
Women go crazy for people that know how to make them relax and that allow them to forget the inevitable tension that is established in male-female relationships.
This doesn’t mean that there should be no tension, quite the contrary! It’s essential. It just means that if you go about your interactions in an easygoing and relaxed manner, you will convey the message that you are in control of the situation – through the tone of your voice, your body language and physical contact – you will be able to make her relax and this will maker her open herself up more and be receptive to what you’re saying.
The Best Moment to Touch a Girl: Right Now!
The first time you meet a girl is the best time to establish physical contact with her.
By doing so, you immediately come off as someone that knows how to touch a girl, that is confident, a leader of men, capable of engaging others and bringing them along for the ride of their lives.
The mindset that I advise you to adopt when meeting a new girl is to imagine you’ve known her your whole life.
Think of her as that dear and sexy friend of yours, where conversations have no boundaries: how would you behave?
How would you touch her?
There you go, perfect: now do it. 😉
Upon meeting a girl for the first time, you’ll surely shake her hand: that’s your very first physical contact with her, make sure she’ll remember it. Inspire warmth in that handshake, try to mirror the energy she’s using, make it last a little longer.
Touching a girl from the start is the best way to get her used to your touch, make her perceive your touch as something completely normal: from the first nonsexual physical contact (a handshake, a hug, a pat on the back) you can gradually try something more daring, touching her hips, her face, her breast…eventually leading to sex, the type of physical contact par excellence.
How to Touch a Girl to Lead to Sex
There’s a natural flow in touching a girl, that starts from the initial phases of interaction leading eventually to sex.
It’s extremely important that this progression be as fluid and spontaneous as possible, to avoid, for example, finding difficulties in the moment you kiss a girl for the first time.
If you’ve never touched her before, a kiss will seem awkward and embarrassing.
It should be a gradual process…moreover a kiss is none other than a particularly intimate form of physical contact.
In the initial phases of interaction, touching must be casual or used to make her feel at ease.
Examples of casual contact:
- hands that brush against each other
- arms that come into contact when walking side by side
- outer thighs brushing against each other when sitting next to each other
Examples of contact to make her feel at ease:
- hand on her shoulder and looking her straight in the eyes while she’s saying something important
- a friendly hug
- a caress when she says something nice
The important thing is to create physical contact that comes off as spontaneous and natural as possible.
Don’t think about it.
The mindset you need to have while learning how to touch a girl is that you’re a social person that wants to make the person before you feel at ease.
If the thought process in your head goes:
“Extend your arm. Place hand on left hip. Pull prey closer in. Physical contact: established”…well, you just need to calm the heck down.
You’re not a robot, and this isn’t a lunar mission 🙂
Touching women is fun!
If you don’t believe me, try it!
And always have fun!
We all know that when you’re with a girl that you’re attracted to you just can’t wait for the chance to touch her.
Why not just do it then? 😉
The fact you don’t know how to touch a girl is no excuse…because you just have to follow your instinct!
Your own sexual excitement is an important tool at your disposition: don’t repress it, but follow its flow.
You don’t have to be overpowered by your desire when you’re interested in a girl…but the right dose of desire is necessary to have success.
Men – like all animals – move and act to satisfy their own needs.
If you’re interacting with a girl and want to get her in bed, the need in question is sex.
Your desire pushes you to act in a certain way, it takes you out of your comfort zone, it pushes you to approach a complete stranger…and you want to repress all this before getting to the good part? 😉
The only difficulty lies in controlling your sexual desire.
Most men get excited as a reaction, not by choice.
Instead, make your excitement be perceived as an award to earn by the girl you’re interested in.
She’s used to being surrounded by horny guys that react to her physical attributes.
Distinguish yourself from the masses, a great body is certainly not enough to make you surrender to her every whim.
Asses her gestures, her smile, her behavior…her femininity.
See to it that she earns your excitement…then just follow your instinct in knowing how to touch her.
If you’re excited and you communicate it through physical contact, she will also be excited, and in turn will start touching you responding to your gestures.
In other words, you could wish for nothing better.
Fine-tune Physical Contact
Aside from being extremely useful for sexual escalation, understanding how to touch a girl has another decisively important role: it in fact allows you to assess the level of trust and intimacy between the both of you.
As I’ve already mentioned, it’s extremely detrimental to avoid touching a girl for the duration of say a date, and then hope for a kiss at the end of the night.
There has to be a progression, a gradual escalation that allows her to trust you and be intimate with you…you literally have to get her used to being touched by you.
All women dream and wish that the first kiss received by a man be perfect and spontaneous, capable of giving them the sensation that “it couldn’t go any other way”.
This feeling is created precisely by the progression of physical contact.
Sometimes we bite off a bit more than we can chew, if you make a false move don’t sweat it: it’s not the end of the world.
Gradual physical contact also serves this purpose: it’s a sort of “litmus test” regarding the level of your relationship.
That’s why it’s extremely important to observe her reactions:
- If she reacts positively to your touch, by not backing away or by getting closer to you, it’s obvious that that type of physical contact is “accepted” during that moment of interaction.
You caught on how to touch a girl the right way at the right moment, therefore you can allow yourself to go a step further, be a bit more daring, progressively leading to sexual escalation between the both of you.
- But … if she should back away, or seem bothered? First and foremost, don’t panic.
Then, pretend nothing happened and take a step back. Act as if absolutely nothing happened, smile and continue with the interaction, avoiding physical contact with her for a while. Let some time pass, let the conversation strengthen your rapport … then, when you feel the right moment has come, try again.
Physical contact allows a sort of tug-of-war situation to be created, and taking a “step back” is exactly what is needed to create a state of “tension” in your escalation process.
The important thing is that you always be the one that leads the interaction.
You create the sexual tension, you interrupt it.
You create the physical contact, you suspend it.
The supreme gift of the artist: the knowledge of when to stop. – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
It’s not the male’s task to create tension, it’s the female’s task to resist it.
The male must achieve both, precisely to not sub-communicate excessive interest or excessive detachment.
Go ahead and alternate moments where you hug and make fun of her to moments where there is no physical contact while you verbally compliment her.
Keep her interest peaked by using this sort of tug-of-war scenario.
After learning and understanding how to touch a girl and realizing the benefits that this could bring to your process of seduction, I can’t do much more but to urge you to get out of the house and do some field testing of your own.
I’ve done my best to give you a thorough comprehensive overview on how to proceed, but remember that the fundamental principle is always: do what you feel like doing.
You feel like touching her, maybe because you want to award her for an astute observation she made or to express your approval for something she said? Do it!
You don’t feel like touching her because she did something that irritated you? Don’t do it!
In short, follow your instinct.
He knows what to do. 😉